The moment we become self-aware of our thoughts is the moment we begin looking for answers to life’s questions.
At least that was the case for me. I still remember staying up at night as a child, asking myself, “Who am I really? Why was I born now, of all times? What is the meaning of life? What am I supposed do while alive and what will be said of me when I am gone?”
While these may be intense introspections for a child, I’m sure we’ve all asked ourselves these questions one time or another. If I am being honest with myself and you all that are reading this, I have been obsessing over creating meaning for my life for as long as I can remember. These questions were my way of processing it all. But sadly, I was unable to come up with a sustainable answer. I would tell myself,
“I, Tomas Tewodros Tekle, am a king and a master of my own fate,”
as I endeavored to leave a legacy by the same path most see fit, whether fame, power, or wealth. But even a skim reading of the book of Ecclesiastes will tell you the conclusion of such pursuits, “It is all meaningless, a chasing after the wind” (Eccl 1:14). Yet, so I went, wandering through the different phases of my life seeking meaning and holding on to momentary pleasures to find happiness.
If I had to rate my experiences pre-Christ, I’d give it a solid “B,” as far as living for the moment. Although I believed there was a God, I was more interested in what the world esteemed as a part of life’s journey. Experiences like, making childhood friends, getting in trouble and laughing about getting away with it, chasing girls and reciting an exaggerated story of what happened just to look cool amongst friends; and really, just doing what everyone else was doing just to fit in. All seemingly innocent things we all go through but can also easily lead us astray.
The pinnacle of all of these adventures occurred for me while in college.
I had the unique privilege of attending an HBCU (Historically Black College and University), and boy! I had the time of my life. I achieved all the things I thought would bring me value within the five years I spent getting my MBA. I did everything you can imagine that comes with, not only attending an HBCU, but also being one of the select few who pledged a Black Greek Fraternity (I pledged Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity Inc. in the fall of 2013). I thought I was invincible, having forged a path for myself, with only success awaiting me.
It wasn’t until my last year of grad school that I fully understood what the writer of Ecclesiastes meant by, “Everything is meaningless, a chasing after the wind” (Eccl 1:14). All of the popularity, power, and women couldn’t fill the emptiness in my heart. No matter what I did, the experiences lasted only for a moment, yet the emptiness would feel never ending. In my deep despondency, I tested God, and prayed the most dangerous prayer one can pray,
“God use me!”
I say dangerous, because, in order for God to use me, He first had to remove the one barrier that was in the way, and that was my pride. A few days after that prayer, I found myself on the wrong side of the law, and suddenly, the image of the perfect life I had imagined began to crumble. How could God allow this? Not to me, not Tomas Tekle. I felt rejected, as my last attempt to find some clear direction for my life was now muddled with shame and doubt in myself, and especially in God’s will for me. Only in hindsight did I realize it was all part of God’s plan.
When I needed it most, God sent me two special friends.
Hanna and Martha were more like sisters, but more importantly, they loved God and were two very encouraging influences in my life. One day they came over, as they normally do to hang out with me, but this time they had a message for me. It was a simple word and truth that was delivered with divine timing. I will never forget when they said to me, “Tomas, God loves you and has a purpose for your life.” Something happened that day, that I still recognize as a turning point in my life. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I didn’t go to church before this, but I had never really connected my purpose in life with God’s love for me. I was so focused on all the things I had to do, that I completely missed the relationship God wanted to establish with me first.
I spent the better part of the next three years getting to know God through his word, and not to mention all the sermons I binged online. But it wasn’t until I joined a local church in Silver Spring, Maryland, called Overflow City Church, that I officially dedicated my life to Christ in December of 2017. God in His providence sent me to a church whose vision is for people to “Encounter God, discover purpose, and make a difference.”
From that point forward, I committed to give up everything I thought I was, to become everything God says I am.
I learned how to love myself the way God loves me. I experienced God’s forgiveness in order to learn how to forgive myself for who I was before I knew him. To put it simply, I learned how much I had to unlearn in order to truly renew my mind in light of His truth. It was while serving and being discipled on the lead team at Overflow City Church that God revealed to me my calling, to uplift His people by leveraging the gifts of strategy and financial services for the edification of the body.
There is no middle ground in this life of following Christ. We have to give it our all and always be willing to humble ourselves for God to mold our character to that of Christ.
We have to have an “All in” mentality in order to let the healing power of God tear down any strongholds of addiction, depression, anxiety, sin, and suffering.
I’ll leave you all with this encouragement.
You may be asking yourself some of the same questions I asked myself, or you may even have other questions of your own. If you are like me and have no idea where to begin, then start here:
Jesus says in Matthew 7:13-14, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.” The reason that only a few find it is because the answers are with God, and not in the things of this world.
You see, Jesus also said, “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened” (Mat 7:7-8).
God wants to answer those questions for you, but He wants you to take that step of humility and come to him for the answers.
We are told to, “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Mat 6:33).
So, seek him every morning in prayer, seek him every afternoon in devotion, and seek him every evening in praise. And you will find that, not only does God have the answers, but God is the answer. God bless you and I pray this helps you on your journey to become who God has called you to be, a new creation, by the grace of God through his Son Jesus Christ.
Tomas Tekle is a devoted follower of Christ entrusted with the calling to uplift His people by leveraging the gifts of strategy and financial services for the edification of the body. Currently, Tomas is working full-time as a Project Manager in the Banking industry while serving as the Co-lead of the Admin Ministry at Overflow City Church.
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